I'm sitting on the floor of my Doc 1 class writing this. Its not very comfortable. Hahaha anyway, forgive the lack of grace in this update in concern to my writing, im just getting ideas out there this time. =]

Note how I've been saying that I've wanted to participate in NC's prayers but that I'm up here in La Jolla- but then again why should that make any difference? I was encouraged to participate anyway, and to be honest I really tried to. I was excited last night and set my phone's alarm to go off at 4:45. But oh, the reliability of my phone. You must understand I got this RAZR v3 back when it was 'cutting edge technology' haha. a LONG time ago. about 4 or 5 years ago. The middle button is missing, the screen is gross, I cracked the glass on the outside and had to replace it. Its been soaked in water and blowdried to work again. I put it on vibrate so much that the vibrate mode doesn't even work anymore and is an equivalent to silent mode. For example, even though my phone was on Vibrate... Raelene just called and MY PHONE JUST RANG OUT ALOUD IN CLASS. *sigh*. But most of all my alarms are bipolar and choose when they want to go off and when they dont. Alas, my phone did not wake me up at 4:45.

I did however place a backup alarm to set at 7:00 and this is when I woke up this morning. I began to pray on the floor of my room. I felt awkward for some reason. It felt hard. But I did it. And I was surprised at how quickly the time passed. And it got easier of course as i seeked out his presence and just really focused on praying for others. I honestly desire to be a caring person, to care about anothers struggles and what they are going through but I must admit it is not in my natural character - thus its work. I prayed for everyone of my suitemates in detail. I do care about them, And im trying the hardest to be a light to them, and it has surprised me lately about how comfortable I've been with their lifestyle. But its time to standout. They know I'm christian but i need to shine brighter. I dont want to condemn them, but I need them to know that I do not in fact approve of the way they live. The drinking, the boys that stay in their rooms, their beds. I don't mean to put them on blast because... I love them I do. And I care about their salvation. Anyway I took my prayer outside of my room and began to pray at the other 5 closed doors of the suites. I placed my hands and layed my head on each door and prayed for each girl and very quietly began to cry and pray. At one time Christina woke up and saw me on the way to the bathrom and asked if I was okay. Haha, I regret that due to my sleep I only had an hour and a half.

Afterwards I returned to my room and began to read. Only to be disturbed by the coming of class and the need to get ready. I honestly feel bad for not waking up on time. But be sure, I will do this again on Monday morning waking up earlier. It was very intimite and I desire more than anything just to be closer to Him... however thoughts cloud my mind and say hes not there, and its a constant struggle fighting the devil who puts those things in my mind. But it makes me wonder why I've never done this before. How can we be so busy with lives that arn't even ours? How can we do ANYTHING but praise him because of what hes done?