I can't change the world by myself.
Be there.

From the outside, one would see a large rounded wall. One so high it would take days to scale. It was tough too. Fabricated with every armor a girl could come up with to protect herself. It did not look like much from the exterior, but oh, if you were allowed in. The castle was luminous amidst the rolling green hills and bustling brook that ran nearby. A pathway of squared cobblestones lit the short path to typical wooden double doors. Off to the side there lay a slain dragon, with a bag of ninja stars and marshmallows, respectively. Looking overhead one could not help but notice the tower, it was beautiful to make castle walls shimmer so.

Suddenly I awoke, will little recollection of the most recent events. I was in a circular room drowned in pink and purple. An armiour, chest and vanity elegantly decorated the place. Fit for a princess. I couldn't help but draw the curtains and look out the window. And was not surprised to find the landscape just described. There was however a missing detail. You see, the tower was constructed perfectly on the outskirts of the castle rather than the center, just tall enough and deliberately placed to be able to peer over the outside wall. It was there that I saw a chivalrous knight on his stallion of gray. He too was clothed in gray. Strange I thought, for I had ne'er seen a man in such a color. He called up to me "What ho! The princess with I doeth speak!". I stared and him and shouted how I must be a simple princess because I didn't understand his old english talk. He described his intentions of slaying the dragon that kept me locked up in the wondrous castle and rescuing this damsel in distress. I assured him that I was in no distress and besides, my dragon had already been slain. "Yet you have no prince?" he asked. "Aye, there is no prince here". He was a very persistent knight, and despite my assurance that I was indeed content attempted at knocking my wall down so that he could get inside. He tried poetry, gifts, and care - but deep inside I knew trouble would be lurking if I let my guard down. After all, he was a gray knight. I did not trust his intentions nor his heart, but through the months that he stood there, a gentleman, we became friends. Still, I did not let him pass.

Suddenly there was a knock on my inside door. Confused, for I thought I was alone - there was yet another knight, only clothed in white, his face almost recognizable... He said he had come to visit, and I, beginning to miss company, agreed to accompany him to a walk. I showed him around the castle, we fished at the brook, and wandered through the meadow. I asked of him the color of his horse. He had replied that it was black. I turned angrily at him, arguing why a white knight wouldn't ride on a horse suited for him. He rebutted that he was not a white knight. I began to feel angry, of course the man in front of me was white, if you saw his heart; yet he refused his very essence. I held it in, and eventually forgot it. I then said my goodbye, a reassurance to meet again, and skipped back up to my tower. It was only once I had left that a spell must have fallen upon me. For I felt anxious, confused, and worrisome. I was at a loss of what to do and settled for wandering about my room. But the spell did not cease. It continued for days as that black knight did not knock again. In distress I looked out the window to still see the gray knight standing. Never resting. I called to him and inquired of the cause of my pain. I asked him of the cause, and he replied that of the black knight. But I argued mentioning how I built a wall, an assurance that no other would get inside. This knight replied that the familiar black knight had already been inside before... and never really left like I dreamt he had. The gray one offered to duel said black knight. In a fight over heart. The winner would achieve the ultimate prize, if only I let down that wall. I argued that it was not necessary, and for the first time in what seamed like ages, I drew that curtain back, and was alone.

I was at a loss of what to do. There was no cure, remedy or antidote that I could conjure up myself, and I was in no position of power to change any circumstance. Thus, I called up my father. For I knew his wisdom surpassed all, and he would know what to do, what to do with the black knight. He told me of a white knight, on a horse of the same color, and he spoke these words to me

"But that's no life for you. You learned Christ! My assumption is that you have paid careful attention to him, been well instructed in the truth precisely as we have it in Jesus. Since, then, we do not have the excuse of ignorance, everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go. It's rotten through and through. Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.*"

Suddenly the knocking on my door commenced once more. I first ignored it, the pounds became somewhat melodic... as they built up, as if encouraging me to do what I needed to. Finally, after I had ignored the black knight long enough, I told him to leave. It was simple, I had worried for nothing. And as I saw him walk through those doors, and scale down the wall, not bothering to even glance back, and I saw that he had no horse at all. I sighed at the irony... A prince with no horse, and a princess with no dragon. It seemed like a story told wrong, a skeleton of a once happy ending... still I couldn't remember... just some place called Montauk.

The gray knight summoned me to my window again, again asking to bring the wall down. I replied that I must be fair to him. And assured him that I would not, and would never let down that wall for him nor his gray horse. That he was a wonderful companion but still would not be allowed inside. He then scrawled something profound on a piece of parchment that I would later share with all of you. He sent it up by the wings of a dove. I drew the curtains, yet he still stands there till this day. He had written,

"One day someone will get through; knock that wall right down. And not sieze your heart, not to take it; for being tyrant of your heart will never do. For the rule of despotist is for a mightier king but he'd breach the gates to give you his, and accept whatever is offered in return only hoping that you'd find happiness in his gift. One day you'll meet him. I'm sure of it."

I was content again, spell lifted. Climbed into bed, and fell asleep once more...


*Ephesians 4:22 (Msg)

I listened intently to the sound flooding out of the speakers. Silence filled the work truck of my dad as we drove back from my last hospital visit per my corneal ulcer. It struck me that I had never listened or payed attention to a presidential inauguration before; either way, Rick Warren stepped up and prayed as follows.

Almighty God, our Father, everything we see, and everything we can't see, exists because of you alone. It all comes from you, it all belongs to you, it all exists for your glory. History is your story. The Scripture tells us, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one." And you are the compassionate and merciful one. And you are loving to everyone you have made. Now today, we rejoice not only in America's peaceful transfer of power for the 44th time, we celebrate a hinge point of history with the inauguration of our first African-American president of the United States. We are so grateful to live in this land, a land of unequaled possibility, where the son of an African immigrant can rise to the highest level of our leadership. And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven. Give to our new president, Barack Obama, the wisdom to lead us with humility, the courage to lead us with integrity, the compassion to lead us with generosity. Bless and protect him, his family, Vice President Biden, the Cabinet and every one of our freely elected leaders. Help us, O God, to remember that we are Americans, united not by race or religion or blood, but to our commitment to freedom and justice for all. When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us. When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us. And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new birth of clarity in our aims, responsibility in our actions, humility in our approaches and civility in our attitudes – even when we differ. Help us to share, to serve and to seek the common good of all. May all people of good will today join together to work for a more just, a more healthy, and a more prosperous nation and a peaceful planet. And may we never forget that one day, all nations, and all people, will stand accountable before you. We now commit our new president and his wife, Michelle, and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, into your loving care. I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life – Yeshua, Isa, Jesus, [Spanish pronunciation], Jesus – who taught us to pray: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

I still can't get over how wonderful the feeling was. To hear the words of truth broadcasted through every form of technology known to man today. Television, Radio, Trees. Yes - even the singing trees at my school played the inauguration rather than its usual music. I think he did wonderful, and amidst the smiles and praise remarks of my dad, was overjoyed. =]

It was shock; it was relief. It was excitement, yet also sadness. It was understanding, acknowledgment, empathy, trust - every imaginable emotion that the human face could convey in a mere second. It flickered across his face, and then vanished. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed. It was our hearts speaking, in the lack of audible sound; there was something special. Or did I imagine it?

I sat here utterly dumbfounded as to what to write. It had been nearly a month since Ive touched this blog, so I began with what was on my mind. I sighed as my fingers hit the keys in such a routine manner, awkwardly missing letters due to the unfamiliarity of this laptop. I wrote to complain, to argue and to question, due to the fact that there was nothing I could find in my mind to say. Around a page and a half of ranting later, i discovered that the purpose of my writing, and more importantly this blog had been lost. SO i started anew. I desire to inspire and enlighten. I want to utilize the rhetoric conventions of the English language to spark an epiphany in one of your lives, or at least allow a pleasurable read for a few moments. My rants and worries need not be of your concern, additionally, they need not be of my concern either.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." Philippians 4:6

It is interesting how difficult it is to take this message to heart. We tend to shift our focus from God to the problem, and then begin to question why God isn't solving said problem. But he is, all in his time. This Christmas my prayer is that we do not get so involved in the hustle of life that we forget the peace that Jesus promised us, and came to this earth for. Pastor said today that Christmas time is the season of the year that people are the most stressed. Which seems like a horrible epidemic to me. Take note of the shoppers that have forgotten the reason for the season, fighting and killing each other for a gift for their children. I do not think this is the way Jesus wanted us to celebrate his birthday. Please, i pray for peace in my heart... not an excuse for lazyness, but a calmness that helps me remember that you are here with me. Remind me of where you brought me from, that you in all essence are good and have my best interests at heart. Please help me push aside my will for my life and help me be attentive to yours and your calling. Lead me and I will follow. For I wont dread the terror by night...

Also, I've been wondering about all that I've held dear to my heart growing up. I've always longed to be part of an epic adventure. A protagonist character in a battle between good and evil, where my role involved slaying the darkness as an advocate for the light. But where did it end? It involved sacrifice and pain, joy in the running, but an overall martyrdom. It speaks to me now. You are dead to this world. You do not treasure the tangible items or false pleasures that the world does because you were not created for this place. I can see us Christians being persecuted in the future. Not simply disliked, but discriminated, the victims of hate crimes... to be a Christian would be similar to "coming out" these days.

I remember an analogy that a preacher must have told me when I was a child. It was about running a race in a schoolyard. And how there were certain strategies we children employ to ensure victory. One of which was leaving the fastest runner on the team to run last, to pick up any lost ground that the others before him left. This is true in the professional world as well, the slower runners go first, and the last spots are reserved for those fast enough to put up a last fighting effort. The strongest are left for the last... the last push... the final battle. As is with time. I believe God has left his strongest fighters for the end times. We have grown up with many more temptations and corruption in the world than previous generations. Different struggles. The devil is attacking in different and new ways, and God is countering in different and new ways. I do believe that we are some of Gods last runners. Let us run with all of our strength. What have we to loose? Our life? Did we not say as World Changers that we were willing to die for God?

Do not be afraid.

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you.” John 15:18-20 NIV

"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it." Mark 8:35

“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.” Matthew 5:10 (MSG)

“It is through many persecutions that we must enter the kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22.

This is my adventure.

My Bestest was at the mall talking to her friend Cara* about life when a lady walks up to them and says how she noticed their bible and felt compeled to share this verse with them. If I could just take the crumbs that fell of the table here, because I believe this verse was for me as well =] Maybe you need it too!

Psalms 119: 25-32 The Message
I'm feeling terrible—I couldn't feel worse!
      Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember?
   When I told my story, you responded;
      train me well in your deep wisdom.
   Help me understand these things inside and out
      so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.
   My sad life's dilapidated, a falling-down barn;
      build me up again by your Word.
   Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;
      grace me with your clear revelation.
   I choose the true road to Somewhere,
      I post your road signs at every curve and corner.
   I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me;
      God, don't let me down!
   I'll run the course you lay out for me
      if you'll just show me how.

Something I read in DC Talk's book "Jesus Freak".
I shared it with some when I spoke in the Faith lounge.

Tell It All To God
Talk with God with the thoughts of which your heart if full. If you enjoy the presence of God, if you feel drawn to love him, tell him so.
But what, you ask, are you to do to in times of dryness, inner resistance, and coldness? Do just the same thing. Say equally what is in your heart. Tell God that you no longer feel any love for him, that all is a terrible blank to you, that he wearies you, that his presence does not even move you, that you long to leave him for the most trifling occupation, and that you will not feel happy till you have left him and can turn to thinking about youself. Tell him all the evil you know about yourself.
Tell Him all-the good and the bad. After all, since He can see deep into your heart, He already knows what you are thinking and how you feel. But prayer is not just about us- we are told to pray fervently for others as well.